I woke up early for church, got ready and picked up the twins. I wanted to get to church early today because we had a special guest speaker, Keith Hudson. Yes yes Katy Perry’s Dad, I’m sick of referring him as that to everyone. AnyPlease, After Service Mrs. Mendez told all the youth to buy his book, and even though I only had 20 bucks to my name, I took the step and did as I was told. After first service, I had to teach the kids, but we just went over the play. After church, I went with Julie and Ariana to their Events Meeting, then I took them home and went to my empty house to take a nap. I woke up around 6pm to a text from Cory inviting me to go for a trip to the mall. We went and had a great time, our last stop was of course SAM ASH in which him and frachesca[Fransisco] showed up their talent to the musicians their. The aformentioned photo of Cory is at “Our Section” of the store, because we both aspire to be Audio Engineers. After that we took a trip to STAR video and rented, “A Time to Kill” “A few good men” and “Some dream movie with robin williams” We got to my house and I made some bomb meat sandwiches, and hot cocoa. They must of spent about 2 hours looking at my old year book. Then we finally started watching the movie around midnight, and then my mom came home. She had told me the night before, that while in vegas, she had lost all her money, I then PRAYED to God and asked him to let her win enough money to give to me so that I could have a great time at my party, and she could win her money back and more, and she came home and told me that about 3 hours after she got off the phone with me, she ended up winning 1 grand. PTL. Well thats it for today.

Chapped Lips and Ashy Skin, this is what winter offers me.
At least the fashion in cute.

Shooooooooooo.
Full day tommorrow, we seriously gotta get filming, seriously.
i’m gonna go shower,
I’ll update you later, tumblr, you have been so good to me.

I just swallowed a glob of cold in my throat, blehhhhh!

Gotta paint my nails,

do my hair,

shave

clean,

and pray throughout the whole process,

yay! Prayer works guys, seriously.

I woke up around 7 thins morning.
Got to work and did my best.
Got home around 1120 and went straight to bed.
I texted the twins and woke up around 230.
As I was waking up, cynthia was leaving,
I was too weak to get up and say goodbye,
so I watched casually from the window.
A little while later Audrey calls, and comes over
she makes me a burger and hangs out while we watch Oprah.
Then my mom leaves to her dinner and I get stuck at home by myself
I tried calling Norma and the twins, but everyone was busy
So I watched TV.
Then I decided to take a drive, but I realized the only car left was my step dads
So I tried it out to see if I could do it.
Pretty easy.
That was boring so I came back home and watched TV.
30 seconds to MARS was on Conan, that was cool,
Eric bought me Jack in The box, even though I’m like SICK of it.
After all that, I took “my daily photo” uploaded it, and now I’m checking all my social networks.
I’m going tot ake a hot shower and read Jeremiah.
PEACE.

so my mom informed me that for a second year in a row, under our Christmas tree will be empty. I know Christmas really isnt about presents, but that really does suck when you think about it. One day God is gonna bless me with enough money to buy my mom anything she would ever need. I’m gonna keep on believing God. Total Submission. Ask and you shall receive. Greater is he who lives in me. I know this year’s Christmas, will be better than last years. I am believing God for it. I really don’t want to feel as sad as I was last year.

My birthday is in 10 days, and also for a second year in a row, it will be a dull one. I didn’t think my life would end up this way. I gotta keep my faith and joy up, but the devil is of course trying to take that away.

We had secret santa today in our net group.

I got…….well I can’t tell you cause then it won’t be a secret.
I gotta finish this movie ans quick!

We wrote down our favorite verses so that we can confess them upon our lives everyday.

On our way to TOTAL SUBMISSION!

whooooooooooooooooo!

In spirit and in truth.

Those are the two songs that have played so far since i’ve been home.
I would listen to them, and enjoy them if I didn’t have to hear my mom screaming at the top of her lungs to my step-dad in the next room.
I feel as though she is screaming so hard, it hurts her throat.
I hear the screech in her voice and it makes me want to cry.
But then I pray to God, and he takes all my fear and pain away.
I just want my mom to accept him so we won’t have to live like this anymore.
I am so tired of putting on a happy face, when inside I’m in so much pain.
I feel so alone. All the time. I try to hang out with my friends, but it does not satisfy the deep yearning in my heart for something more.
Not a boyfriend or anything, but a relationship with someone.
I am just about ready to be totally submitted to Christ.
I am giving him all of me. He is the only person that will never fail me.

Things with Jackie have been progressing.
I can see that she is really trying to be a great friend, and focusing on her life as well.

Dumb and Dumber are still acting dumb with me, they are hot and then cold, they are yes and then no. Boys aren’t difficult, they are simple, they are just jerks.

My birthday is in 12 days. I want to be excited for it, but I have nothing to look forward to. Once again.

I just want to cry, and get all my emotions out.